Give Yourself Time

I’m spending the day at my home with my 8 month old daughter today. She is sick and not feeling like herself, which has given me a lot of down time to enjoy with her. I’ve been staring at her red face for about an hour now, enjoying the cuddles and thinking about our almost year together. This time last year I was just entering my 3rd trimester with her and now she will be a year old in about 3 months. A lot has changed over the year...more than you can imagine when you are a first time mom, even second, or third. Even though she is my second child, I feel as though I have reached an epiphany of sorts. One that I wish I could bottle up and send back to myself 3 years ago when I was carrying my son.

People tell you many things about motherhood, but the majority of it you don’t fully understand until you experience it yourself. So whether you are still keeping your pregnancy a secret, lying in your hospital bed awaiting your newborn, or up for a middle of the night feed...I hope that my words comfort you and give you sense of relief that you aren’t alone and that life will feel “normal” again soon.

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Many times I have heard mothers say, ”Life speeds up when you have children.” They are absolutely right at that, but when you are in the midst of newborn life, or babyhood, time feels nothing but fast. It feels almost as if it might have stopped. Like everyone else’s life is revolving and continuing, but yours is going nowhere.

Motherhood is more than just a stage in life that you enter when you become pregnant. It is an ongoing and constant job that no one really prepares you for ahead of time. I remember when I had my son, I had an instant awe and gratification for my mom. All of a sudden I had a new appreciation for her because I realized that motherhood was no walk in the park. I began to wonder how her and every other mother in the world were able to feel like themselves again. I felt completely ashamed that I ever had that thought come into my head, but I did. I was a very young mom who felt like she was sinking. I struggled with a lot of PPD and PPA. I should have done something about it but I was too prideful to let people know that I wasn't completely thrilled to have a new baby at home. I wish I could go back and do it all over. More importantly, I wish I could see that I was running out of time. That time would fly by and that the months that I thought were dragging and slow, really were just a moment in time...

So my epiphany, you ask?

It might be easier said than done, but you don't need to do anything. You just need to give life and yourself some time.

Give yourself time. Time to heal and adjust to the "4th trimester". You just had a baby. Don't speed yourself back into life by thinking you can do everything you used to. Wait a couple of weeks before you try and power clean the house from top to bottom. The mess isn't going to kill you.

Give yourself time to adjust to your new body. Things look a lot differently than they used to, but now you have the beautiful baby in your arms that you prayed for. The stretch marks will fade and your body won't look like this forever. Don't stress about having nothing to wear. It's absolutely acceptable to wear your maternity clothes for the next couple of months. No one can tell...only you can.

Give yourself time to rest before you jump into working out again. I know you are itching to lose the weight, but your body needs time to heal. I promise you. You will lose the weight when your body is ready to. Don't damage your body's healing process by thinking that adding in a daily workout or diet is going to speed things up. It will only do the opposite. It took your body 9+ months to grow a baby. It takes about the same amount of time for your body to heal and get back to normal again.

Give yourself time to adjust to motherhood. It is not easy in any way. You are now in charge of a life who completely relies on you. You won't know what to do in every circumstance, but if you are trying your hardest, I promise you won't fail.

Give yourself time to adjust to your new life as a mother. Your hormones will level back out and your emotions will contain themselves again. Make sure you are having a few moments of alone time when you need it. Don't bottle in your emotions. It only leads to explosions. Allow for someone to help you. Don't allow yourself to feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. Ask for help. People WANT to help you. You won't be a burden.

Give yourself time to figure things out. You have never been a mother before. Don’t be so hard on yourself. What works for others, might not work for you. Don’t worry about what others think either. Keep doing your best to be there for your child. Don’t let a day go by that you haven’t stopped and prayed for you and for your child. God is with you through it all, the good times and the hard times.

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Enjoy all the time you have with your precious little one. Enjoy the chubby feet and hands. The soft skin. The newborn baby smell. The first morning smile when they see you. The tiny baby grunts and babbles. The soft hair and tiny, little clothes. The way they look at you like you are their everything, because you are. Most importantly, enjoy how much they need you. It might seem draining and I know there will be times you are exhausted from giving your all to them, but know that this won’t last forever. There will be a day when you realize they don’t need you like they used to. Each year goes by and they need you a little less.

12.6.18